The Jesuses/Grounded Grounded Grounded for Hearing Bad Word
"Grounded Grounded Grounded for Hearing Bad Word" is the tenth episode of the fifth season of The Jesuses. Plot synopsis God hears the Jesuses listening to Piggy Pie by Insane Clown Posse, a song riddled with profanity, so he forbids them to leave their apartment and subjects them to various harsh punishments. Meanwhile, Satan is free to conquer the town again in their absence. Transcript (Darrell slams open the door to the Jesuses' apartment.) Darrell: You guys wanna hear something horrible? Jesus Two: No. The other five Jesuses: Yes! (Darrell starts to play Piggy Pie by Insane Clown Posse.) (Jesuses Two and Six stare at him sternly. The others have blank expressions. Darrell is fucking pumped though.) Jesus Four: I will admit, I like this song. Jesus Three: Me too, I guess. Jesus Six: Don't you dare spew such drivel! I'll tell Dad! Jesus Five: Yeah, this song is very unepic. Darrell: Wait! The best part is coming up! Person on radio: Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die I might use a gun (no), I might use an ax (yes) The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks! Jesus Five: Ok, now this song is epic. (Jesus Six plugs his ears and tries to run out of the room, but Darrell stops him.) Darrell: LISTEN JESUS SIX OUR GIBBY WILL VORE THOSE KNEECAPS YOU HAVE. (Jesus Six's eyes turn into flames.) Darrell: DO YOU WANT GIBBY TO TAKE AWAY YOUR KNEECAPS?????? Jesus Six: Gibby can and will go to Hell right now! Jesus Two: Dad said Gibby legally cannot go to Hell, remember? (Jesus Six grumbles under his breath.) Darrell: Take the music in. Feel it penetrate your soul. Jesus Six: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. (Five seconds later) Jesus S'i'x: Ok, this is now epic. (Luna enters the room) Luna: Hmm. What's all this then? Darrell: Music. Luna: I see... Person on radio: The last little piggy, his house is made of gold He lives in a mansion on his own private road Istarted walking down it, the guard he told me wait I snapped his fucking neck in two and slammed his nuts in the gate Luna: Hey, you can’t listen to that. God will flip out! Darrell: Naaahhh, He'll be fine with it! Luna: How could you say that? You're crazy! (God comes in) God: Did I hear the the f word!? Luna: (To Darrell) I told you so. Jesus One: Noooooooooo? No swearing here, right gang? (The Jesuses besides One and Two chime in with uneasy exclamations of agreement.) Jesus Two: Yeah, the singing man said the f word. (God becomes furious.) (Jesus One elbows Jesus Two.) Jesus One: Not cool, man! God: All of you is grounded for listen to a song with bad words now go to church now and learn the love of your father now instead of spreading it oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ho ho ho. (The Jesuses all groan.) (Darrell meekly raises his hand.) Darrell: Am I included in this? God: YES YOU ARE. Darrell: Ah... Luna: God, you can’t punish them! Who will protect the town from sin? (God doesn't say anything for a few moments.) God: Alright bye everyone, enjoy being grounded! (God disappears) Luna: The town will be in big trouble with them gone! I better call up those girls that saved us from the Paradox..... (Luna disappears too.) Darrell: Aw, man! I can't be grounded! I'm gonna miss work! Jesus Two: We'll all be fired for sure! Jesus Six: This is all your fault Darrell! Darrell: Hey! I just wanted to show you that song! Jesus Two: How could you do this? We're the Jesuses, for Dad's sake! You know we can't stand for profanity! For shame, Darrell! For shame. (Darrell has nothing to say.) Jesus Three: Well, I guess we gotta go to church now... Jesus Five: I don't want to lose my job, guys! Surely there's something we can do. Maybe Jason will understand? (Satan 2 appears) Satan 2: Well, well, well, Jesuses. Time to take over this town, you 7 being first! Darrell: What the hell are you talking about? Jesus Six: Um, quit swearing please, Darrell! Darrell: Geez, sorry, sorry. (Satan 2 magically brainwashes The Jesuses and Darrell.) Satan 2: Now, time to take over the town! (Satan 2 goes to the roof of Town Hall with a megaphone.) Satan 2: (shouting through her megaphone) Hey, fuckers! I own this shit now! (Fink and Venomous are seen walking nearby.) Satan 2: (to herself) Hmm, I don't like those people at all. Pew pew! (Satan 2 shoots some brainwashing magic at them.) (God comes down) God: Holy jeez, Luna was right. Satan 2: Fight me, God! God: thenperish.jpg (God gets ready to absolutely smite the shit out of Satan 2, But Satan 2 brainwashes him before he attacks.) (Enid appears.) Enid: Okay, this is epic. Satan 2: (shouting through her megaphone) I got God, you thots! Bow to me now before I kill you! (Luna and Garth run outside.) Luna: Oh dear. I hope the girls come soon without getting brainwashed, Garth. Garth: Me too. Those girls are our only hope! (Meanwhile, at a place...) Bluestar: Well then, I suppose it is time for me to check my (echoing voice) ''cellular device.'' (Bluestar checks her phone and sees a shitton of frantic texts from Luna.) Bluestar: Aw, geez. Girls, we got another battle on our hands and paws! Get ready! (Insert epic getting ready transition here.) (Cut back to the place the other people are at.) Satan 2: (Looks around with shifty eyes) .... Brainwash! (Satan 2 brainwashes Luna and Garth) (The Girls arrived and see the chaos.) The Six Divine Gals: (All in sync) Oh jeez. Satan 2: (Swerves around) Wha? Brainwash! (Satan 2 fires a dozen little brainwashing beams in their general direction.) Bluestar: Serpentine, serpentine! (The Six Divine Gals frantically dodge the brainwash magic.) Bright Eyes: What do we do, Bluestar!? Bluestar: Uhhhhh, Daria! You are blind, so Satan 2 can not get to you! YOU will be the hero! Daria: Nice Satan 2: What? That's bullshit! Enid, go detain her or something! (Enid goes to confront Daria.) Bluestar: Everyone, get her away! (The entire crew maul Enid. Enid falls to the ground.) Vicky: Wow, that was almost too easy! Satan 2: Motherfuckers! (Satan 2, in a fit of rage, flings flaming rocks everywhere.) (Sailor Luna makes a shield that protects the crew from the flaming rocks) Satan 2: What the hell? Quit doing that! (Satan 2 swerves around again and notices that brainwashed Venomous and Fink are still there.) Satan 2: Uhhh you two, go do something! Attack them! (Venomous and Fink start to attack.) Gloria: Hey what the heck don't attack us. Bluestar: Gloria, they are brainwashed! Bright Eyes: That's very unepic! Satan 2: thenperish.jpg Bluestar: no u (Satan 2 sucsessfully brainwashes Bright Eyes) Bluestar: !nonooo Sailor Luna: !nonooo Satan 2: m bison says yes yes.mov Bluestar: fak u satan 2 Fink: Hey! What the fuck is going on!? The fuck!? (Gloria kicks Fink off the roof.) Gloria: (with glowing yellow eyes) Begone THOT Venomous: Don't call her a thot, you fucker! Gloria: shut up lol (They get in a fist fight) Bluestar: I better defeat Satan 2.... Bluestar: Hey Satan 2! (Satan 2 turns to face her.) Bluestar: Bitch. (Satan 2 screams and lunges at her.) Category:The Jesuses